Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Keeping an Open Mind

Sometimes life surprises you. For example, I got my class schedule for this year on Tuesday only to find out that I am taking a business course. Yea, you read that right, business. My first reaction to this was "I AM NOT a business person!" And that's exactly what I texted my mom that morning. Now in this situation I could have done one of two things. 1) I could have gone straight to my guidance office and drop that class like it was hot! or 2) I could have been open minded and went to the class thinking hey, maybe this will be good for me, and I will enjoy it. Now, which one do you think I chose?

If you guess number're wrong. In fact, I went startight to that guidance office and demanded to have my class changed! Now, if you go to my school, and have ever tried to change a course on the first day of a semester then you know that it's doubtful you're going to even get put on a list. All I was given was class change request form and a boot out the door! This meaning that I was forced to go to class.

So here I go, I see my teacher in the hall way and greet him with a "Hey, how was your summer? Oh, by the way, im dropping your class" - Not exactly the nicest greating in the world but I was under a lot of pressure by that point in the day. So I got into the class, sat with someone I knew, and tried to get the jist of what the class was all about. (Note: It wasn't business, it was entrepreneurship.) Can you guess what happeded next?! Well truth is, by the end of the class, I was sold! I was so excited about being in this class that I wanted to start the final assignment right away! So, in life, you have to keep your mind open to new things, because it just might work out in the end.

That was an example of how things work out, and how you can start off unhappy, but turn out being overly satisfied. Now this is going to be a story of how you can start off proud, and happy, but turn to loosing your confidence and maybe shedding a few tears.

Tonight I went to my first meeting at my community photography club. I was so proud of myself for going, and getting out into the community. I had a great time interacting with people, and listening to the guest speaker, JLV Photography (who was amazing, and a delight to listen to for an hour!). I had some thoughts during the presentation about my own skills, and ended up easily relating to what the guest speaker was saying. He talked about how he started off taking normal family portraits, but always felt that people were better than him. This is the way I have been feeling. I recently did an anniversary party, but still was thinking to myself, this is not going to produce the photos I will be proud of from this, and even these photos could be better taken by someone with a better camera, someone with a better understanding of their camera etc. needless to say, I gave the family their photos today, unsatisfied, and feeling kinda shitty about what I had produced. Fast forward a few hours, and I am left, right now, sitting in bed with my laptop, being dramatic, not knowing what I want to do with my life... it feels like just a few hours ago I had everything figured out, but then I finally realized just how competitive the photography industry is. It's a hard thing to accept when you're sixteen, and think anything can happen if you just believe.

The point is, life is hard sometimes, and sometimes the lessons, or reasons for having certain experiences don't make sense for years, so for tonight, I'm going to go to sleep, and wake up tomorrow like it's a new day, and remember, things don't happen by just believing, things happen by planning, organizing, and overall working your ass of, and that, my friends, is just what I plan to do because I, am a photographer.